Being in the Space of Allowance



Being in the Space of Allowance
Janiece L. Boardway, M.A.
Rainbow Bridge to Conscious ReAwakening

In ReAwakening, we become aware of things perhaps for the first time. As we ReAwaken, we are given the possibilities of growth beyond what we were at the moment before the awareness and invited to the next level of consciousness. During the process of ReAwakening, many of our awarenesses are not at all comfortable, and our personal world may be shaken. I would also say that many awarenesses are not convenient either since when an illusion is uncovered, we are invited to do and be something different. I mean why in the process of ReAwakening would we continue doing the same thing as before and being the same person as before. 

Perhaps one could say that an inconvenience of ReAwakening and becoming more Aware is that we may find ourselves with a little less patience for those who are choosing not to go on this journey of becoming more Aware. When we find ourselves feeling these pangs of discomfort, our family knows that we must ask for more allowance for a situation or a person and even a group of individuals. Now being in allowance does not mean having to tolerate people behaving badly. Oh, is that a judgment? Absolutely not, since the type of behaviors I am talking about is when unaware people are easily swayed to engage in actions that harm others. Unfortunately, we have seen this sort of unmindful behavior too often. 

The allowance I am discussing is the honoring of others and not attempting to control them to do or be something they are not. I have seen how Michael and I have respected our son, Tristan, allowing him to be who he is and flourish into the amazing, loving and aware person he has become. Now that does not mean that we sat back letting Tristan do as he pleased without offering guidance on our behalf. We gave him limits without the limitations. 

This last year, I have been given the ultimate opportunity or challenge in many ways, of being in total allowance of someone very close to me. That person is my brother. As many of you know over four years ago, my brother was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer and very successfully overcame that horrific disease. For those of you have not read his story, you may find it on our website under Janiece’s Journals entitled “Inspirational Story.”

In May 2016, my brother had an appointment with his doctor who gave him the fantastic news that his CT scan was all clear and he was very healthy. He knew that since he had worked quite diligently for his good health and well-being. Unfortunately, at this appointment, my brother allowed himself to be talked into receiving the Pneumococcal Vaccine, and he contracted pneumonia soon after that. Along with this illness, he developed an infection. For the next couple of months, he was on antibiotics for two weeks then the week he was off, the infection returned, and he went back into the hospital. This occurred throughout the summer, and in August he was diagnosed once again with colon and liver cancer. Then there was another stint placed in him that had a bacterial infection on it and infected him with a brand new infection. 

I learned to be in allowance of the choices my brother made since they were not what I would have chosen for myself. Of course, that is easy for me to write since my brother was the one going through this experience and not me. I learned to be in allowance when he said no to my offers of taking him to “alternative” health care workers such as homeopathic doctors, etc. I learned to be in allowance when I sat in the hospital room with him, seeing him so drugged out with the hospital personnel pumping him with more toxic medications, that this was his choice. I learned to be in allowance of the hospital’s unhealthy food choices for their patients. Well, maybe not, since I made food at home and then sneaked it into the hospital for my brother to eat. Okay, I admit that one. This was of course when he was off the feeding tube formula made by a company that has ties to a very large corporation that does not have our best interests in mind. 

As I sat with my brother in his hospital room, I learned to be in allowance of the path that he chose even though it was tearing me up inside. Sitting in silence in his room, seeing him open his eyes, briefly look at me, smile and then drift off again allowed me to honor his path and love him even more.

My family and I learned to be in allowance when every time we visited my brother and saw him lying in his bed at home, just waiting to leave this planet. Oh, there were a few times when he did get out of bed and came downstairs because I do want to be clear that he did not give up. No, he never became a victim of his circumstances. However, he learned to be in allowance of the path that he had taken. He learned to be in allowance of others as they helped him. My brother learned to receive from others and ultimately, he learned to allow his heart to open to those who always had their hearts opened to him. He allowed his nephew, my son, Tristan, to sit with him in silence in his bedroom as he helped his uncle energetically. They even discussed the process of my brother’s transition, and Tristan shared much vital information to assist him on his journey. My brother was in allowance of Tristan’s heartfelt counsel so he could release himself from his sick body. 

My brother allowed my husband to discuss with him the important act of forgiving himself and others two days before his transition. Pointing out that his wife always joked around about the real reason why Jesus made the statement, “Father, forgive them” was because he knew if he could undeniably and wholeheartedly forgive, that he would never have to return to Earth. Okay, we are just saying. My brother chuckled as best he could, as Michael shared my insight that for some, may be totally “out there.”

My brother allowed me to be with him in the hospital as he received the news from the doctor that they were sending him home to be placed in hospice care. He allowed me to be with him those last few days of his Earth life, caring for him in any way I could along with his wife and hospice nurses. I was in allowance of his wife and her requirements to be alone with her husband when possible. I knew my place was sitting by his side in the chair next to him, assisting the nurses to move him as gently as possible, holding him and running up and down the stairs getting anything that he needed. 

My brother and I allowed ourselves to take on new roles through this journey. No longer was he the older brother who always took care of his little sister. He allowed me to be his caretaker and I allowed myself to care for him, no matter how difficult it was to see such a strong, competent and capable person transform into something totally opposite. We were in allowance of the tears we shed together.  

As I allowed my brother his choices, I allowed myself to heal any expectations and conditions I may have placed on him in the past and the present. Also, asking that I always be in allowance of never putting any conditions and expectations on him or others in the future. I was in allowance of my brother and his path and not mine since I knew his choices allowed me to be even more mindful, reverent and in allowance of who I truly am.